VOGUE ITALIA EXCITES ME.

(yes, the shiny stuff is plastic wrap.)

VOGUE PARIS DELIGHTS ME.

Picked up Vogue Italia in Florence, Italy, and Vogue Paris in Marseille, France. Didn't get a change to get a copy of Vogue España, but Spanish Vogue doesn't matter as much to me as French & Italian Vogue do. (Btw, my scanner sucks -- these scans do the real editorials no justice at all.)

Europe was so much fun. I don't even know where to start. I haven't gotten any sleep since 12:47 AM (and it is now 8:45 AM) due to jet lag, so my mind is a mess... this calls for random bullet points!

• Everyone wears harem pants and Ray Bans in Europe. Everyone. I'm not even exaggerating.
• There's a whole editorial photographed by Terry Richardson in Vogue Paris, and an editorial featuring SASHA PIVOVAROVA (<333)! One of the Paris scans is from the Richardson shoot, and the other is Sasha.
• My grandma was flipping through Vogue Italia and said something like "This isn't healthy for young children." Rofl. (Speaking of children-healthy Vogue, MY FAITH IN TEEN VOGUE HAS BEEN RESTORED THANKS TO THE AUGUST ISSUE. note to tvogue: stop putting dumbshits like Miley Cyrus on your covers, thanks :D)
• Went to a perfume factory in France. I learned that they used to make perfume out of fat taken from Jews in concentration camps.
• Formal nights on the cruise were the best. I had an excuse to bust out my new dress (a lifetime supply of sequins and a million folded layers of tulle... freakishly ostentatious for a black dress, but that's how I like 'em).
• I passed a store in Italy that sold Rick Owens, Vivienne Westwood, Alexander McQueen, and Comme des Garçons. I was about ready to throw myself into piles of beautiful clothing, when I realized the store was closed. I think that was the first time in my life that I've experienced true heartbreak.
• Spent a bit of time in Monaco. Highlights included Prada, Lanvin, and Chanel stores. I also got to see the casino where some of the James Bond movies were filmed. It was extremely intimidating, because it's supposedly the rich man's playground. Two Ferraris parked right next to each other, with a Bentley and Rolls-Royce not too far away. Poor tourist children begged their mommies and daddies to take a picture of them with the cars... little boys with tears of joy glistening in their eyes as they ran their fingers over the hood of the shiny sports cars... I'm not exaggerating. Honest.
• Got to see the works of Antonia Gaudí, which was super interesting. The Gaudí gift shops (which is where I got Steven's present) were also lots of fun, 'cause there was fun, artsy stuff. It didn't hurt that there were Jimmy Choo and Yves St. Laurent stores right across the street, either.
• Speaking of Steven... STEVEN GUESS WHAT? THERE WERE SELENA GOMEZ POSTERS LITTERING THE SUBWAY STATION IN SPAIN! AYYYY BENDEJO!!!
• I think I gained weight. Damn you, all-you-can-eat 24-hour buffets and evening fine dining that stuffs you to the verge of throwing up.
• People in Florence thought I was Italian. I tried talking to some salesguys in English, and they kept replying in Italian. I was like, "I don't speak Italian," and they were like, "Really? You look Italian." And I stared at them. And then I walked away.
• German MTV is fun. Especially when they accidentally play the Paranoid music video with the Burning Up audio.
• I loved our evening fine dining waiters, Josip and Daniela. They were amazing. No one else would be able to put up with my grandma and aunt's stupid requests for extra appetizers, cheese plates, broccoli, and lemons.
• JoBros' second Rolling Stone cover in less than a year... so proud!
• My favorite days were probably in Italy. Rome was just so much fun, and navigating the narrow shopping streets of Florence was exciting.
• Wanted to get a pair of Superga shoes in Italy (only 39 euros, dammit!).
• Imagine my horror to arrive in France, only to see newstands proclaiming headlines such as "LE ROI DE POP EST MORTE". Michael Jackson, I shall love you always. Your talent has been dear to my heart and you will be sorely missed. Goodbye as well to Farah Fawcett and Oxyclean Man.
• They played America's Next Top Model Cycle 10 on the plane back from Barcelona. It was a lolfest.
• Conversation between my mom and the cruise ship dining room's head waiter (this huge fat bearded white guy who probably eats babies and flosses with their bones):
  Head Waiter: I usually wake up at around 4:30 back at home.
  Mom: Oh, really?
  Head Waiter: Yeah. It gets pretty noisy in the morning. Dogs barking. Cars honking. Children yelling. Gunshots. Police sirens.
  Mom: Dear God, where do you live?
  Head Waiter: Johannesburg.
  Mom: Where's that?
  Head Waiter: South Africa.
  Mom: ...

Yup, I think that pretty much sums everything up.

In other news... KEVIN JONAS IS ENGAGED TO BE MARRIEEEEED!
Awwwww, how freaking cute is that? :)